Tag: Bankfoot

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Last week my boyfriend and I spent the week with his family in two quaint little country towns. Still new enough to the beauty of Scotland and northern England I drove to the various areas with eyes wide and a bubble of joy bubbling within me. Although most of our journey was along the main motorways, we veered into the beautiful rural areas where I wasn't disappointed with the scenery. For those of you unfortunate souls who have not experienced the often fairytale like appearance of the country, you have not lived. It is really no surprise that Scotland and northern England are used for well respected films such as Harry Potter and television series like Dr. Who. With rolling hills whose natural creases show both their age and the changes to the landscape over the years. The deep green trees create a texture and the illusion of a hairy hill. The scattered farm animals lazily graze with the occasional one reaching over the fence for the longer, less tasted grass as they too want to try something new. Passing over the glens I spied the grassy desert that stretched further than the Roman straight roads covered. Scenery like this may bore others who crave the busy rush of the city life, but I love driving along the roads and seeing the slopes and falls of nature's base.

Our little trip was not without its challenges as we fought with the Sat Nav (TomTom Fail!) and ended up in areas that weren't that suitable for a car, especially one as low as mine! On these little detours we cursed and swore at 'Julie' - the name that Andy gave my Sat Nav - but she showed us some pretty views.

During our break we spent two weekends at Allendale town and five nights at Bankfoot, both beautifully quaint villages. In Allendale town we resided at Andy's grandfather's house whose bank sloped down into the embankment of the village's little stream. Taking Chloë - read Playing 'mummy' for a week - for a walk around the stream we burned off some energy. Strolling along the sandy path we brushed aside the overgrown vegetation and proclaimed our victory as we scampered down the little rocky path to the water's edge. As it was a beautifully sunny day we let Chloë paddle in the water in her top and underwear but very promptly she stripped naked and proclaimed that she could 'now swim like the little fishies'! We couldn't help but laugh.

Our time at Bankfoot was spent mostly outdoors when the weather was permitting. Chloë and I enjoyed collecting the freshly laid duck eggs from Andy's mom's ducks. Being a city girl the little country routines are still enjoyable to me. On the first morning that we collected the eggs, Chloë happily thanked the ducks for the eggs before finishing off with 'I go eat your egg now '. She hadn't quite realised what the egg was...

It was a lovely time away that allowed me to get to know Andy's family better and see some of the beauty that Scotland and northern England have to offer.

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This past week my boyfriend and I have spent the week with his three and a half year old daughter, Chloë. It was an interesting, although challenging week. As this was the first time I had ever met Chloë and Andy's (soon-to-be) ex-wife it obviously provoked some feelings of unease within me. Although I was well aware of Andy's past before we got together, actually seeing that side of his life made it real. Don't let my post title fool you, although taking on the maternal role for the week I have no intention of ever replacing Andy's wife's place in their daughter's life. Coming from a broken home myself I know what it's like to have an intrusion of a parent's partner invade your household and would not expect to be seen as Chloë's mother in any form. I wasn't sure how I would react to Chloë, or more importantly how she would react to me. What I didn't expect was her seemingly instant 'approval'.

Just before we were to take her home to her mother, we met up with Andy's cousin whose daughter -- Lexi -- was nine months younger than Chloë. In her cute socialising way, Chloë proudly introduced us as "my daddy and my Heather". It was times like these that the maternal side of me lit up. Kids never fail to amaze me in how quickly they accept new situations and although Andy's and my relationship is still new, I could see myself accepting Chloë as a daughter figure even if I would never expect her to see me as a maternal figure in her life.

This week was an eye opener in so many ways. As a young woman approaching the end of her teens and aware to officially join the 'adult' world certain feelings are arising so it's natural I have considered a family in the future. Frequently I have been told of the maternal nature I express towards my friends and family but more often surprise them when I confess I am not entirely sure if I see children in my future. Somehow the white picket fence image doesn't fit with what I want from life but when it comes to children I get mixed feelings. This past week I felt like I was Chloë's main carer and spent many hours supervising, negotiating and attending to her which was both tiring as frustrating. With my brothers grown up now I had forgotten how tiring young children were - especially when they're on the brink of discovering some independence. Most meal times were a negotiation, dressing had to be a game and don't even get me started on bath time. The first time Andy and I tried to get her to shower we simply mentioned the word and she screamed the place down for the next ten minutes. After making us feel like we were torturing her, once we had finished she proudly claimed 'Chloë all cleaned now'. Sigh, how could we be mad at that? Chloë definitely taught me a lot about myself this week and made me respect my mother more!

Despite how much I hated the early starts, the tears and the patience needed to get things done; Chloë was the sweetest little child. Sociable with everybody and very affectionate. She showed me that I could cope being a mother despite the challenges of raising a child entails. Perhaps in the future I may be more willing to fully consider the idea of starting a family but for now though I am quite content on handing the child back to their parents and heading back to my less complicated life.