Category: Poetry

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A constant struggle between the two,
a brain leading forward and a heart  falling.
Monetarily a consensus, a still among the storm -
shortened in its life.
The brain wins again.

She stumbles away,
each step slower as doubt creeps up.
The heart a tortoise in the race,
slowly it catches up.
She turns, flaters -
a wrong decision or the weakness of the heart?

Cold darkness fills the night,
a deep void her only company.
The angel and demon argue -
will she obey her heart and fall again?

She lies awake, the hours dwindle,
watching the sky as it lightens the room.
The constant tick, each tock a reminder of memories together.
A longing to return sets in deep,
the logic is drowning but -
still fighting, she falls asleep.

© Heather R Ellis
February 2012

2

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Up and down,

sky and dirt –

the journey does but leap.

 

From one to another I have but gone –

my stories are but untold.

Tears shed, skins changed,

a new adventure does begin.

 

Voices rise with each flaming cheek;

eyes leak as one will fall.

Strong against the human need,

I am but a weakling to their touch –

a gentle breath and I do but fall.

 

Again the confusion follows me,

their true love is not enough.

A decision must be made:

life alone, strong and true or

as a half and weak again?

 

I doubt my motives –

Can they be true? Sincere?

If I stay I worry it will be a lie –

the need for a companion and nothing more.

Confusion unfolds, temperatures rise.

Melding the bond, they try hard –

oblivious to my stolen snips again.

 

Perhaps one will appear,

whisk my breath and steal my life.

I do but deny this though –

to give over my half is to great a risk.

For now, I won’t give in.

 

I am my own,

alone and true.

 

            © Heather R Ellis

January 2012

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Nothing but an agreement –

an unsigned contract of mutual need.

Governed by a trickster,

signed by morons.

The human need of acceptance,

of companionship.

 

Outspoken claims against it,

cries of pain,

signs of our unified weakness.

 

Boldly holding two together –

a bond stronger than blood, sometimes.

Trouble in disguise, an allusion of paradise.

 

Many fall, some prevail –

adapting as humans do.

Evolution in the making.

Chemistry interwoven into DNA –

nothing but a chemical reaction.

 

Stories told, rumours heard, images shown –

there ain’t no place to hide.

Deep within us lies a craving,

some kill for it, others run.

There is no place for the shades of grey.

 

A decision made, the new chapter begins.

Flowers strewn upon the ground,

a puddle of ifs and buts.

 

Exposing us all eventually –

our shells revealed to all.

 

The great power triumphs again.

 

© Heather R Ellis

January 2012

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Alone upon this earth we walk,
invisible our pain to those around.
I step towards the light-
stumbling all the way.

You have returned once again,
slicing into an old scar.
It was healing, but
now it weeps.

Helpless I am to the emotions;
a stream of memories,
the loss of you.

I fight the salty streams,
hiding amongst the sea-
they shall not know.

They will not know that I,
I have fallen beneath once more.

Crumbling tongue why don’t you speak?
Cry for help, I beg you.

I beg you,
don’t let me fall again.

            © Heather R Ellis

June 2011

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The rustle of sheets
accompany the ensemble of clocks:
an echo of my emotions.

I toss and I turn,
The light slowly tickles my feet.
Smile, it begs.

Months pass,
days are swollen up in black holes-
unnoticed.

The creeks of the house gradually dim,
The moon shines her light upon the sleeping figures-
Her light exposes my red-rimmed eyes.

She transcends into my vaulted safe,
Her hooded eyes weep.

A movie plays through my mind,
Forgotten days of days spent together.
The cycle of life moves on…

© Heather R Ellis
March 2010

2

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All the others are together, only I remain.
Then I see you- and everything changes.
I’m bound to you by despair and hope,
I’m caged by magic, Fate’s cruel joke:
I can see but never touch.

Others discover my hidden truth,
Shake their heads with pity, their eyes mocking my attempts.
Why can’t they see that I’ve no choice-
To break my heart trying is easier than to do nothing.
My life is not mine to control:

Destiny is the captain of my ship,
The course was set when first I saw you.
His orders are clear to all-
Harsh, unjust, non-negotiable-
I can see but never touch.

The Sea shifts, Fate’s lover is near.
She softens, hope arises, this could be the day,
She caresses Destiny; he too is turning a blind eye,
Time torpedoes me to you, heart beating,
so close, I can feel your breath…..

Bang!

Wickedly the lovers laugh.
Arms embraced, as one, they mercilessly taunt me
Always will I be their hostage, they snigger
Gleefully reinstating my boundaries:
My life is not mine to control.

You wander past, barely a glance at my broken heart
Slowly I am giving up the fight.
Why fight when there is no chance of hope?
Puppet, that’s my name in the show presented by Destiny and Fate.
Come one and all to this circus that is me.

© Heather R Ellis
January 2009

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Today the dam burst,
its wall crumbling
as the ladybird’s wings fluttered.

I am exposed.

Futile attempts to seal the cracks,
I rebuild the wall with a sponge.
But they see through the holes;
judging.

As soon as I knew
a protective barrier encircled.
The quakes come now,
their pressure forces the shield to erode.

The sand blows away,
dissolving my mask.
I stand alone.
Vulnerable
when the others come,
with their concerned flood of emotions.
I try to tell them, but

My teeth weld shut,
my tongue freezes over,
drowning the words in ice.

Others survive the ceremony of goodbyes,
why can’t I?
It’s only a natural disaster,
The cycle of life.

My broken mind erases the day,
the pain eventually subsides.
Unnoticed,
the pressure gauge builds up.

© Heather R Ellis
December 2009

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Light but darker,
green or blue,
the pull of seduction enthrals me.

His muscles ripple, his voice lures me-
temptation struggles with guilt,
dreams laced with infidelity.
I do not deserve his love.

Internal wars blossom,
what are the consequences?

Embraced by one, yet drawn to him.
He loyally waits, he watches…
I attack.

I mark my territory, the animal is released.
Sensations explode-
I am helpless to my desires.
I have to help him, whatever the cost.

Flirtatious greetings…
public displays of faux distance.

Privately the ram tops the knowing ewe.

The flip of the coin decides.

© Heather R Ellis
February 2010

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I walk to the isolated ice hole and
jump, the air freezing the pain.

This land is my own.
I am Queen of this frozen wasteland.

The steps to freedom are invisible-
Slippery and scheming they taunt me.
It’s my fault I confess,

Get over him they reply.
The echo listens, talks, cries-
Dissolves.

A week passes, a month, a year.
His memory subsides, my heart flickers-
Coughs, and dies.

His voice lures me,
drawing me in
staining my skin-

I am branded.
He is my master.
Always, obedient and loyal.

This is my home,
My life and heart.
He is Hades.

© Heather R Ellis
December 2009

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Chess with Callum,
Scrabble for me,
A quick laugh and joke in between,
My loving and attentive father.

Flowers and cookies just because,
Lifts to friends and clubs,
Nothing was too much for him when I asked
My selfless and adoring father.

Kites, fishing and endless cards for Callum,
Sitcoms he hated but I loved,
Frequent random questions always diligently answered
He was my compassionate and devoted father.

Spontaneous treats,
Supportive eagerness to help me study,
Dedicated attendance at all school functions
My loyal and dutiful father.

Hugs and kisses when needed
Always he was there:
3.39 on the dot,
My proud and caring father.

Happy memories of days well spent,
Of quiet, secret expressions of his devotions,
A life well spent,
His legacy will live on in the tears of joy he left behind.
My proud and caring father.

© Heather R Ellis
March 2009